Same Script, Different Cast.

The title of this post has NOTHING to do with the contents of this post. Believe me.

This post is basically about what I want in life right now.

After all the happy and horrible experiences I've had in relationships, I've discovered my weaknesses and strengths in my relationships.

I now feel ready for a loving, caring, mature and steady relationship.

No, I am not going to be so quick to jump into any oppurtunities because that's what led me in the wrong way before. I am simply gonna wait for the right guy to well, talk to me. Get to know me better, look way beyond my physical attributes and wealth of my family which does not include what I earn as I do not work yet. Which technically makes me unemployed and poor.(:

I don't know, all this while I've been used by guys and have always been the third wheel, wing girl, or matchmaker. Yes, I love making my friends happy and I am more than happy to see them so content but the thing is, I feel left out sometimes. I sometimes have the feeling where I want to be loved and cared for, to always have a companion whenever I need him. I mean, I tend to develop a guilty feeling when my friends rush to my aid when they are supposed to be spending time with their partners.

I want a relationship with a guy who loves me for who I am. I know nobody would love me for who I am because of how fat and ugly I am but hey, a girl can dream. When I find that guy who tells me that he can accept me for who I am, I will know for sure whether he is sincere and is the one for me. I've been through a lot of bullshit to know how guys tend to cover up their real deals. And obviously, I do not like PLAYERS. I mean like, what is a relationship if one of the other parties is a player? It hurds deep man.

This ideal guy should also possess a great sense of humour, but not TOO GREAT. I want him to be funny and accept jokes without taking in any offense. I want to spend time with him yet give him his free time and space for other things besides me. Despite that, he has to know how to manage the time we spend together as when I fall for someone, I REALLY love that person. So don't mistreat me! LOL.

I want someone loyal, DUH.

Damn how I wish I could have a guy like that. A guy who loves me for me. A guy who wants me because he is interested in what I am going to do or talk about next, a guy who LOVES me. Sadly, that would be hard to find.XD

Well then,

Till next time,

xxoo,

adyyiskandar.♥♥

*I AM READY FOR A STEADY RELATIONSHIP. Be Mine?♥*

Of Love, Sensitivity && Anger.

Love. I used to ask myself what exactly the meaning of this word is. But i never thought of the perfect answer and ignored that question for a very long time.


One Wednesday during Writing & Referencing Skills class, we were learning about about the EIGHT strategies of writing introductions. We were given the topic "LOVE". We were free to write anything we wanted as long as it was not too long and boring and made sense. Most importantly, we had to use one of the EIGHT strategies.


This gave me a really hard time as I did not know what to write about love. Apparently, it's a very sensitive and unmentionably hard topic for me. So this is what I wrote:


"What is love? Love is when you take care of your father even as he is lying on his death bed. Love is when you look into the eyes of your newborn baby and shed tears of joy. Love is when you still wear your wedding ring eventhough your other half has left the world ten years ago. Love is beautiful. Love is for eternity."


I was starting to feel tears forming so I did not have the guts to read it out to the whole class. I don't know how or why, but this one topic; Love, can really hit me hard in the head. And thus, my weakness is revealed. I am weak. I am invisible. I am sensitive. I am so scared to fall in love that I close both eyes when I see an oppurtunity to do so. I'm slowly trying to stop that. It's a habit I hate.


Whenever I fall for someone, I REALLY love them. But the longer the relationship is, the more insecure I get. I feel pain even without getting hurt. I feel insulted even without a single negative word out of his mouth. I don't know how to explain all this. I can't explain all this.


As of this moment, I am trying to change that. I am trying to have more confidence. I am trying to tell myself that it is OKAY.



Okay enough about sensitive issues. I would like to announce that i have CHANGED my kitten's NAME from ANGEL to DUCHESS. Angel seems too innocent a name for a cat. Duchess feels more appropriate. And she seems to like it too. I started calling her Duchess a few times today and she has shown signs that she knows her name. Yes, that was fast.


Apart from that, might I remind anyone out there who has a problem about how I take care of my kitten, I have NINE LIVING CATS at my house. If I have taken care of them since they were young and they are still healthy and loving cats now, you DO NOT have to condemn the way I take care of my TENTH kitten. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING LAH. If you think you can take care of her better, let me see you have the guts to ask me to give her to you.


I mean, I've been training my cats just the right way though it may seem as if i don't give a shit. Truth is, YOU do not know how to take care of a cat. If it shits in your room or something, what are you gonna do? TALK to the cat and tell them its wrong?! They're cats, they need to KNOW that its wrong in a way that they can understand. Not by TALKING to them as if you're some animal whispere. JEEZ. Think about it. You'll sound as if you have an even lower IQ than the cat. THERE, I SAID IT. I just can't stand you people who have so many problems against me, yet act as if you agree with me. No offence to anyone, this is just a message to anyone who has a problem with it. Not that I already know of someone who does. I love my friends.<3








xxoo,
AdyyIskandar.♥♥

we are weapons.;)

H.A.T.E

I hate all this.

I hate people lying to me.

I hate people backstabbing me.

I hate people making a fool out of me.

I hate people who think I'm too stupid to function.

I hate people who think I'm a dumb blonde kinda person.

I hate people who underestimate me too much.

I hate it when you say one thing but do the other.

I hate friends who say they'll always be there for you but are NEVER THERE.

I hate friends who pretends they're your friends.

I hate friends who never have the time for anything else but their lovelife.

I hate friends who basically lie their way through everything.

I hate the fact that a small number of my close friends actually do this.

I hate guys who pretend they love you but are cheating on you anyway.

I hate guys who have no respect for what girls want to keep until marriage.

I hate relatives who pretend to love you but never visit ONCE and can be celebrating life elsewhere.

I hate relatives who forget in-laws after a member of their immediate family has left us.

I hate people who tell me I'm not fat when I am.

I hate it when people think that I think being fat is such a downside of my life.

I hate it when people know there's something wrong with me but make things worse.

I hate it when older people think they're so smart when they dunno what they're talking about.

I hate debating about religion and politics with others; its just discriminating.

I hate people who condemn or laugh at the way I dress.

I hate it when people think FAT people can't wear pretty clothes.

I hate people who think I'm emo.

I hate blogging about all this.

I hate being me.

I hate me.



Now that i've let out a few things about how I feel, I think HATE is such a harsh word. Change is all to DISLIKE now will you.;)