Can't Feel A Thing.

I haven't blogged in ages.

I keep saying that I'll blog more often in almost each post before this but it never happens.

Gahh, resolutions were made to never work anyway.

Unless you're some control freak who "knows what you're doing".

Life isn't exactly better now, and it isn't exactly any worse than before.

I've been crying for two days straight.

A feeling in my guts tell me I'm gonna burst into tears again tomorrow.

This is not healthy, but so what?

I don't feel anything.

Haven't had good sleeping habits for quite awhile now.

My appetite is on and off.

Most of the time I just don't feel hungry.

But I still don't feel anything.

I love the ones who are always there for me though; probably the only feeling I have left.

I fell in love, I fell out of love.

I went on vacation, I came back from vacation.

But I still don't feel a thing.

I broke a camera, I bought a new camera.

Had a feud, forgave and forgot.

But I still don't feel anything.

But you know what?

With all said, you may think I have no feelings and I do not feel anything.

I do feel.

I feel angry, sad, depressed, gullible, used, backstabbed, victimized;

All at the same time.

And the reason why?

The same reason it has been all along.

Each one of you knows why.

Maybe not all.

But its very hard to keep up like this.

Knowing you're different than others can be nice;

Feeling unique can be a good thing.

Heck, BEING unique is a good thing.

But what I have, its just unfair but I go around smiling and laughing anyway.

Reviewing on what I just wrote, I'd leave any reader feelingless after reading this.

This is not joyful nor emo.

This is not sad nor does it show any feeling of content.

This post doesn't make much sense, nor do I want it to.

Just letting out my cold and bitter self right now.

None of your concern because really, I'm fine.

Because to all of you,

I don't feel a thing.

Me writing this post would make you believe that I don't.

Maybe you want to believe that I don't.

But I can't make you choose.

Just go.

I'll see you guys and just smile and laugh like all of you expect me to.

xx.

What's Life Worth Now?