kesedihan dan kegirangan.

well i haven't updated my blog in quite a while. after my many series of daily posts i just suddenly stopped kan? well, bad news. my grandpa masuk hospital. cirrhosis of the liver. caused by hepatitis c which came GENETICALLY.

anywhoo, i've been to the hospital everyday without fail unless mama wants me to stay home to study for my exams. well, the truth is, i would still wanna go even if i don't have to. i mean like, pity la mama. she's so old. her surgery on her femur turn screw is hurting very badly now. she can't walk so much. and to go to the freaking ICU is what? 2 km?? from when you get out of the car. figure of speech. but really, it's very far. even the walk to the elevator is damn far. she needs somebody to hold her when she walks there. she was complaining on how painful it was for her. walking to the ICU and back twice everyday. i told her that she should be using a wheelchair while i push her to the ICU so that it wouldn't be so tiring for her. she didn't agree at first but then the next day she agreed when i forced her to. she is now used to it and prefers going on the wheelchair.

well, this is how papa wound up in the hospital. last saturday, mama and papa were going to a wedding. when they reached the venue of the wedding, papa suddenly felt unwell and told mama that he didn't wanna go to the wedding at all. mama gave the couple's parents the wedding present and went back to the car. she told the driver to take them to the hospital. usually papa wouldn't agree but this time he just went with the plan. on the way to the hospital, papa vomited a whole lot of blood. the driver drove even faster to the emergency ward of the hospital. i received the phone call about what happened and straight away i called my aunt and brother. my aunt rushed to my house and we took papa's things to the hospital. my brother, who was out for dinner quickly rushed to the hospital.

at the hospital, papa vomited another 3 times. imagine how much blood he lost. i was scared, we all were. the doctor took him for a scope to patch up the ulser. we found out that when papa was admitted to another hospital a week ago for a few days, they gave him medicine to make the blood thinner whereas his liver needs clotted blood so that the vessel doesn't burst due to blood thinning. frustrating, no? he had 2 scopes and he was breathing through a tube for quite a few days coz some of the blood went into his lungs and it might cause an infection. the doctors said that they blocked his lungs with a tube and he was breathing with the help of a machine as he couldn't breathe manually for the time being.

well he finally got his tube off yesterday. he tried talking but it was really hard to make out the words he was trying to say. he's weak. always sleepy. and the doctors also said he now has problems with his kidnay. haiiihhh. :(

well, hopefully all goes well and he would be discharged soon. i can't stand another day looking at how sad mama is and how she has those sleepless nights. she has to eat sleeping pills to fall asleep sometimes. yes, she's THAT frustrated. what can you expect from a 47 year old marriage??

well, on to the bright side.

PAPA'S GONNA BE MOVED FROM ICU TO A NORMAL WARD TOMORROW!! i hope he will be a lot better. and i can't wait to see food go down his throat after being starved for 10 days. not exactly starved la but when you see a family member of yours being filled with water everyday and no food is fed to him, it hurts la. you actually feel the hunger he goes through. and i do hope the swelling goes down. i mean like, papa used to be skinny. and now his whole body is swollen.

i remember yesterday when they took the tube out, i asked papa if he needed anything. and he said "smack your bottom". HAHAHA. damn funny ryte??!!:p

i miss papa being at home, i miss laughing at papa and mama at the dinner table, i miss blocking the tv for fun when papa's watching a programme. i miss PAPA. hope he gets out soon. we're having a DOA SELAMAT this wednesday at my house for papa. InsyaAllah it will help.

byebye then.(:

xxoo!~