Intermission.

So I was bored today and was damn malas to continue typing my ideas in this other post that i'm working on.

I went to a few good joke websites and I came across some jokes that I thought were funny.

Read if you're rajin enough la.(:

ENJOY!!

Spelling Poem

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

Good Writing Advice

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity.

Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency and a concatenated consistency.

Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descants and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast.

Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy and vain vapid verbosity.

If you are really interested to know, the above means: "Be brief and don't use big words."

The Water Closet

A certain English lady visited Switzerland and was having difficulty finding a room, so she asked the local schoolmaster to help her. After a satisfactory room had been found, she returned to her home and did some packing.

Suddenly, it occured to her that she hadn't noticed a W.C. (in England, the toilet is called a Water Closet), so she wrote the schoolmaster about the W.C.

The Schoolmaster, not knowing the meaning, asked the parish priest and together they decided that it must mean "Wayside Chapel." He wrote her the following letter:

Dear Madame,

It is my pleasure to inform you that there is a W.C. just 9 miles from your home, in the center of a grove of pine trees. It seats 229 people, and it is open on Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will, no
doubt, be glad to hear that some people bring their lunches and make a day of it.

I would especially recommend Thursdays, for then there is an Organ accompaniment. The accoustics in the W.C. are excellent; even the most delicate sound can be heard.

My son was married in the W.C. and there was such a rush for seats that 10 people had to sit in the same seat. The looks on their faces were very interesting.

My wife is sickly but dedicated. She doesn't go regularly, and she hasn't gone for nearly a year.

I will be glad to reserve a seat in the W.C. for you, where you will be seen and heard by everyone.

Hoping I have been of some assistance.

Sincerely yours,
The Schoolmaster

The Difference A Little Punctuation Makes

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being
useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria

Your Everyday Confucious Jokes

Confucious say: Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Confucious say: Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Confucious say: Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

Confucious say: Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Confucious say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Confucious say: Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

Confucious say: Man who scratches backside should not bite fingernails.

Confucious say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Confucious say: Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Confucious say: Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

Confucious say: He who eats too many prunes, sits on potty many moons.

Confucious say: Man who make love to girl on hill...he not on level.

Confucious say: Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.

Confucious say: Man who jumps through screen door likely to strain himself.

Confucious say: Man who drive like hell bound to get there..

Confucious say: Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.

Confucious say: People who make Confucius joke speak bad English. 

Funny Answering Machine

(MONEY)

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

(AMNESIA)

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

(NOW; LATER)

I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

I wanted to post Yo Momma jokes as well but then there are too many nice ones.;p

OKAY end of jokes. LOL. I just can't post the other entry yet because I'm thinking of what to wear for Anwar's party. Hmm GREEN & RED, GREEN & RED, GREEN & RED..... Any ideas, people??? Hahah I feel pathetic.

Okies byebye.(:

XX.

OHHH P/S: this is a shoutout to Wunnie. She wanted me to say stuff bout her for her profile thingy so here goes.

Wunnie is funny, Wunnie is cool. I've never really met her, though I've seen her once at tuition. We never talked in real life, but she's really nice. Pretty pretty girl. Takes nice pictures.*jealoussss* And always a good friend to those who are her friends. Cute, nice, pretty, friendly; Wunnie is a good friend.(babe jom lepak one day?XD)  (:

okay now byebye; for real.

XXOO.