Hot & Bothered.

LOL i swear the title has nothing to do with how I feel right now.

I feel... nothing; As usual.

I was so bored so I thought I'd blog.

Went out with Iem few days ago, It was niiiice.

Haven't seen her in 4 years and it was nice catching up.

4 years of being in different states and going to different schools with different friends.

When I saw her again, I realized that I really miss my old friends.

I miss you guys, yes you Akravatorians.

Practically all of you.

♥♥

Oh I'm also missing my dear brother, Arshad Kassim who I haven't seen in AGES.

Haven't hung out with my high school people in awhile.

Hari, Dira, Ely, Priya, Gan, Rachel, Iman, Mira, Elle, Vivian and moremoremore!

Tuck, that includes you. Major lepak sessions to be done.

Haven't seen Azalea Rizan my darling twinnie kakak for so long either!!! Padahal rumah dekat je!

OMGG I miss my mother and father, Zhafry Rahmat and Mukhlis Badri.

Damn it's also been awhile since I posted a blog about everyday life and the positive side of everything. I feel like a tween.

To my darling Nadya Ngui;

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

Me lav you long time brader!

You've always been there for me from stupid ramblings to huge problems.

You've been tolerant of all my nonsense(also because you're karut too)

SG™ for life bebeh!
I owe you a movie, REMEMBER THAT!

May Allah bless you in everything you do Bebybottoms.

We all love you.

xx,

Adyy-tor.

Because good friends are easy to find, hard to keep.

Can't Feel A Thing.

I haven't blogged in ages.

I keep saying that I'll blog more often in almost each post before this but it never happens.

Gahh, resolutions were made to never work anyway.

Unless you're some control freak who "knows what you're doing".

Life isn't exactly better now, and it isn't exactly any worse than before.

I've been crying for two days straight.

A feeling in my guts tell me I'm gonna burst into tears again tomorrow.

This is not healthy, but so what?

I don't feel anything.

Haven't had good sleeping habits for quite awhile now.

My appetite is on and off.

Most of the time I just don't feel hungry.

But I still don't feel anything.

I love the ones who are always there for me though; probably the only feeling I have left.

I fell in love, I fell out of love.

I went on vacation, I came back from vacation.

But I still don't feel a thing.

I broke a camera, I bought a new camera.

Had a feud, forgave and forgot.

But I still don't feel anything.

But you know what?

With all said, you may think I have no feelings and I do not feel anything.

I do feel.

I feel angry, sad, depressed, gullible, used, backstabbed, victimized;

All at the same time.

And the reason why?

The same reason it has been all along.

Each one of you knows why.

Maybe not all.

But its very hard to keep up like this.

Knowing you're different than others can be nice;

Feeling unique can be a good thing.

Heck, BEING unique is a good thing.

But what I have, its just unfair but I go around smiling and laughing anyway.

Reviewing on what I just wrote, I'd leave any reader feelingless after reading this.

This is not joyful nor emo.

This is not sad nor does it show any feeling of content.

This post doesn't make much sense, nor do I want it to.

Just letting out my cold and bitter self right now.

None of your concern because really, I'm fine.

Because to all of you,

I don't feel a thing.

Me writing this post would make you believe that I don't.

Maybe you want to believe that I don't.

But I can't make you choose.

Just go.

I'll see you guys and just smile and laugh like all of you expect me to.

xx.

What's Life Worth Now?