Goodbyes.

I've been thinking a lot lately.

Maybe a little too much.

But I've come up with a conclusion.

It's simple and I don't know why I haven't discovered it all this while.

I'm gonna leave.

I've been a burden to so many people who were so patient with me.

I've been interrupting with people's lives so much that I feel like such an arse for that.

I've been thinking too much that it ruins my mood, which makes me ruin other people's moods too.

So I'm leaving.

Not on a jet plane.

I'm not going to turn back.

I'm not going to hate myself for doing this.

I need to find myself.

I need to find out what I'm supposed to be doing in life.

I need to drift away and leave all those who suffered in my account.

I need to free them of this huge burden I've been putting on them all this while.

What was i thinking?

I can't have everything I wish for.

I have to work for it.

I can't just burden someone who doesn't deserve more shit in their lives.

I mean, everyone has their own problems to resolve.

And stupid me, without thinking; Adds to the burden that already exists.

I'm leaving.

And I'm going to keep going until I find out what to do with myself.

Until I find out why I'm always like this.

Until I learn to appreciate the little things and not ask for more.

I need to grow up.

So thank you to those who have shown me a greater love than love itself; Friendship.

I love all of you to bits.

PleadingGuilty,

AliceAdriannaSabki.

*I Don't Deserve Special Treatment*

Sayang.

I constantly ask myself how I could survive without having a special someone to love me and me loving him back. After a long period of reconciling myself, I found the answer. The answer to how I could go through so much pain and depression but tend to lift myself up so quickly. It is because of them. My family, my friends. 

Without them, I don't think I could have been comforted through all my misery.

Without them, I don't think I could have the strength to smile right now. 

Without them, I don't think I could cry tears of joy when I think of how they've always been there.

Without them, I don't think I could have ever figured out the true meaning of love.

Without them, I don't think I could be alive and well right now.

Without them, I would not be the grateful person I am right now.

So thank you, Mama, Affendy, Nashrina, Sabira, Nadya, Arshad, Johan. You guys are all I need in this world to make me feel secure about my life. I promise to be there whenever you need me.

I love you guys.

xxoo,

AdyyIskandar.♥♥

*JatuhlahEgoAkuSekejap*

To New Beginnings.

Okay the title for this blog post sounds so TV show title. LOL. Anyschmoos, I'm here today to tell you about how happy I am with life.

I love my family because only god knows how much more I can love them and my dear, dear, friends. I think I have found almost all the friends I need including old friends. I love you guys so much.

My post seems happy, no?

We all know Alice. And we all know her life ain't perfect. So I'll start rambling now. If you had an ex-boyfriend who wanted to know if you still loved him, or some stalker girl who wanted to know if you still loved him; How much more desperate can you get. Based on what I recently experienced, like a FEW MINUTES AGO, I have come up with two possible theories;

1. The ex-boyfriend created an email account disguising himself as a girl and added me on MSN; asking me stuff about whether I do still go out with him and if I still love him and stuff. Despite that, if it were not him, what kind of guy who was going for some girl would tell her that I dumped him because of his attitude. (mind you, i do not remember. It's been months la, you infant.) If you wanted to know if I still loved you, its actually pretty simple. Ask me face to face rather than try to dig up secrets that I think I have let go a long time ago. We're at an age where we can think at a more mature stage and solve problems as adults. This is clearly very childish and kinda unacceptably stupid.

2. There IS a stalker girl who is madly in love with the ex-boyfriend but is so childish to think that after I still love him even though we have OFFICIALLY ENDED our relationship MONTHS AGO. So she asks me questions like whether I do love him and stuff after I told her "He is a nice guy la. Don't worry, I do not still love him what so ever. Go for him. :)" Note that I did use a smiley at that. How more convincing do you want me to be for you to ask me whether I'm SURE or NOT.

The conclusion is, whoever the culprit is, this is a very childish way of asking such questions to someone. Seriously, I broke up with him months ago. No more feelings what so ever. Dude, I don't know if other people have noticed, but its about time we all kinda start growing up. Solve situations like this like adults. Acting childish is fun but it certainly has its limits. And c'mon man, if you and your ex had broken up MONTHS ago, and you were the one who dumped the ex; I ask you, "would you have moved on already?" Duhh, I THINK SO.

This is Alice Adrianna giving you(that person in particular) a tight bitch-slap.

P/S: Nedi, you see what problems we face? Grrrr.

xxoo,

AdyyIskandar.♥♥

*THANKYOULOVELYPEOPLEFORALWAYSBEINGTHEREFORME*