I'm Ready.

This is it. I'm ready. This time, no backing out. I refuse to be the cowardly girl who gets pushed around for trying to keep a person happy no matter how bad the person treats me.

I have decided that I need to toughen up. Stop being such a wuss and admitting defeat each time I find the easy way out by blaming myself for something which I clearly know nothing of. I have to stop being so gullible as to listen to everyone's rambling and gossip and believing them. I have to stop believing that I can trust a person because we have so much in common and are so close because I know now that things which are too good to be true, are actually the things that make things worse.

I am sick and tired of being kicked around whether it is by my peers or even my elders. It doesn't seem fair that I always have to be at fault and other people can behave so slyly that it provokes others to see them as a more superior person compared to myself. I do not possess any powers, I do not posses any abnormalities which makes me some superior being but I do know that I have the strength and will power to think properly when holding up a conversation as to see whether what I'm hearing is right or wrong.

I have also decided that from now on, there is no possible way that I will ever allow myself to ever trust someone wholeheartedly. Not even HALFheartedly. I do not understand why some of my friends who have known me longer can start trusting someone they met through me and listen to all the bull crap they have to offer which totally gives me a bad image and the other person gets to keep a straight face. But not for long. God himself has shown me signs which eventually lead me to finding out whatever your evil scheme is this time. You should know by now that this is how it works. In this time of our lives, we DO NOT live in our high school years anymore where most people can be more dominant than some. Everybody is the same and nobody cares if you're prettier, richer or even bitchier. But too bad for you if you choose to be bitchy, it just gets you nowhere. You'll end up living with no friends, which is pretty much happening already for someone I know. Tsk tsk. Such a pity. It was so nice knowing you.

THAT up there was what I set in my mind for future friendships to come. For now, I know who I love and I know the people who love me.

BOYS. To me, boys are cowards now. I've had quite a few boys who flirted with me and even confessed that they loved me but did not want to take our friendship to the next level. Don't worry guys, I know why. Its because I'm fat. Introducing me to your friends who have girlfriends the size of twigs and less would make you feel embarrassed that you have a fat girlfriend. Not pretty too, at that. I don't care, because to me, those who are scared of that are stereotypically challenged people who have no other worries in life except showing off what they can find, even if they don't love the person. To those who love them, I understand and I respect that. But to those who are so shy to show the person they truly love to the world, that's just plain stupid.

So, to those guys who are so scared to hold my hand in public and make excuses such as "my mom's friends will see us" and so on, I say SCREW YOU. May you have a happy life regretting your loss.

I'm happy with my life right now and I think this change that I'm slowly developing is actually making me stronger in a way. Well, I guess I need some shut eye right now. Travelling around to look for Damansara while going through the same toll twice with Nadya in the awfully crowded jam made me really drowzy.

Raya coming!

Prepare those angpows you've been saving up to give me yeah, darlings.

ilypsfm.

xxoo,

Adrienne.♥♥

No More Birthdays.

I'm sick of having birthdays. WHY?? I'll tell you why. Because when I have my birthdays, people that I really hope to be there turn me down in the end. They cancel. They give bullshit reasons why they can't come. But when it's some popular person's birthday, cepat je cakap yes. I'm not chasing popularity like you and neither do I care about it, I have a wonderful life, but it hurts. During my birthday, you'd think I'd have happy dreams when I slept. But NOOOO, I cried in my sleep. I had NIGHTMARES.

This makes me think if I was even friends with the right people.

The one that ticks me off the most is when I go for other people's stuff, those people would say things like "why didn't X come?", "how could X not come?" or the occasional "some kind of friend X is for not showing up". Well, goes to show you're the kind that attends everyone's party. And has a big heart. More like big FART. Did you come for MY party? You DID??!! Oh wow, I certainly didn't see you there.

I am now an antiself-celebration person. I would love attending parties and celebrating my friends' birthdays, but not mine. No matter how old I get, I won't bother to celebrate my birthday. When's my birthday again? Oh wait, I don't have one anymore. I just know that I'm a year older each year. That's better. Doesn't make me look forward to people coming for my birthday or getting presents or even meeting up with ANYONE during my birthday. As of now, June 21st is no longer important to me.

I love everyone, I will go to their parties when invited from now on, but I swear, I will NEVER EVER have a birthday party every again. Too many expectations. Too much time wasted. I could do many things in one day rather than wait for last minute phone calls cancelling on me. I don't care if anyone terasa because HOW DO I FEEL after all you've put me through? All the money I spent to prepare for the party. All the credit wasted to text or call you people. All the time wasted when I could do more productive things.

BAH.

Fuck you losers.

I'm sorry, I'm just not in a good mood right now.

As for those who have always been there for me, I love you people.

Those who are my friend just because I know people, just because I'm not pretty so that I won't outshine you when we go out with a group of boys, those who are friends with me but do not like me but are still my friend for the sake of one of your friends who is, screw YOU.

I AM PISSED OFF.

This will all be okay later, but for now, I'm just SO ANGRY.

I can only be happy when you're sorry.

adyyiskandar.

*Farewell, Prince William. For we no longer share the same birthday.*

To My Dear Friends Who Are BOYS. (& he who shall be my partner one day)

Got this from some random site.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR GIRL SMILE.(:

1. Tell her she is beautiful. – Really… this is the most basic of them all, every girl wants to hear that her partner finds her attractive.

2. Hold her hand whenever you can. – Most girls love it, it makes them feel secure and appreciated.

3. Kiss her on the forehead. – Kissing her on other places apart from the mouth, shows you love all of her and not just the “goods”. It might also have something to do with hand holding since they are both things her father would have done.

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to. – The waking up process is quite delicate, those moments after you wake up can change your whole day.Leaving a voice message to show you care, will truly make her day.

5. Always tell her shes the only girl you wanna be with. – Some girls really need reassurance about this, so telling her once in a while won’t hurt.

6. When she is upset tell her how much she means to you. – It helps her look on the bright side of things, knowing she has someone by her side to help her get through anything thats upsetting her.

7. Recognize the small things. – Anyone can recognize the big things she does, but only a person that truly cares will pay attention to everything including the small things.

8. Call her baby. – It doesn’t have to be baby, any sweet or cute nickname will do, it helps create a special boding.

9. Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. – They like to see your willing to make a fool out of yourself for her.

10. Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. – This basically means, no matter what girls your hanging out with always try to be courteous towards her and leave any girl you're talking too, to ask her out and dance.

11. Write her notes. – Writing sticky notes with cute messages and leaving them around her house/workplace is just a cute detail you can do to make her feel special.

12. Introduce her to friends as your girlfriend. – Some guys make the mistake of not mentioning your girlfriend to your friends and telling them she's just some random chick, if she finds out…. May god have mercy on your soul because she won’t.

13. Play with her hair. – Another way to show you're thinking about her.

14. Pick her up, tickle her and play wrestle with her. A cool way to show your affection, everyone wants to go back and be a kid again for a few minutes.

15. Talk to her without having to kiss her. – If your relationship is about a kiss for every 3 words you say to each other, try and get to know her more. Kissie Kissie will only get you so far.

16. Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. – Laughter has been and always will be one of the best ways to build a strong relationship.

17. Tell her when you miss her. – Call her at her work or in between classes to remind her she is being missed, leave her notes, even a sms message will do.

18. Let her fall asleep in your arms. – Helps her feel loved and secure.

19. Open her car door. – Shows her your courteous.

20. If she’s mad at you, kiss her. – It shows no matter how pissed off you guys are at each other, the most important feeling will never change.

21. Give her piggyback rides. – Being child-like and showing immaturity is always cute in a relationship.

22. Randomly tell her when you think she looks her best. – Helps her build confidence and shows that you notice her efforts to look good.

23. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. – Don’t treat her differently in front of your friends too seem cool or macho, you're just going to loose points.

24. Look her in the eyes and smile. – A silent way to show your thinking about her.

25. Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants. – Some girls like to take pictures of you.Just go with the flow and let them do it, they want to have reminders of you.

26. Slow dance with her, even if there isn’t any music playing. – Random gestures of affection always help.

27. Don’t ever ignore her, no matter who is around. – There are some girls who need to know that you take her in consideration, totally ignoring her for someone else will get you into trouble.

28. Kiss her in the rain/flowers petals on her bed. – Anything romantic that sounds corny works like a charm.

29. Tell her everything thats going on your in your life. – Telling her about your day, all the little things that happen will show her that you confide in her and make her feel like shes someone you appreciate so much you can tell her your most intimate feelings.

30. WHEN you fall in love with her . . . Tell her. – Don’t tell her just for the heck of it, wait for the right time when you really mean it.If they find out you told her without meaning it, it will be a HUGE let down.

So yeah guys, DO these things for her. And to anyone out there who shall be my boyfriend/husband soon, TAKE NOTE!!

SpreadingLoveAround,

adyyiskandar.♥♥

*Release your inner CORNY MAN from within.*