Of Love, Sensitivity && Anger.

Love. I used to ask myself what exactly the meaning of this word is. But i never thought of the perfect answer and ignored that question for a very long time.


One Wednesday during Writing & Referencing Skills class, we were learning about about the EIGHT strategies of writing introductions. We were given the topic "LOVE". We were free to write anything we wanted as long as it was not too long and boring and made sense. Most importantly, we had to use one of the EIGHT strategies.


This gave me a really hard time as I did not know what to write about love. Apparently, it's a very sensitive and unmentionably hard topic for me. So this is what I wrote:


"What is love? Love is when you take care of your father even as he is lying on his death bed. Love is when you look into the eyes of your newborn baby and shed tears of joy. Love is when you still wear your wedding ring eventhough your other half has left the world ten years ago. Love is beautiful. Love is for eternity."


I was starting to feel tears forming so I did not have the guts to read it out to the whole class. I don't know how or why, but this one topic; Love, can really hit me hard in the head. And thus, my weakness is revealed. I am weak. I am invisible. I am sensitive. I am so scared to fall in love that I close both eyes when I see an oppurtunity to do so. I'm slowly trying to stop that. It's a habit I hate.


Whenever I fall for someone, I REALLY love them. But the longer the relationship is, the more insecure I get. I feel pain even without getting hurt. I feel insulted even without a single negative word out of his mouth. I don't know how to explain all this. I can't explain all this.


As of this moment, I am trying to change that. I am trying to have more confidence. I am trying to tell myself that it is OKAY.



Okay enough about sensitive issues. I would like to announce that i have CHANGED my kitten's NAME from ANGEL to DUCHESS. Angel seems too innocent a name for a cat. Duchess feels more appropriate. And she seems to like it too. I started calling her Duchess a few times today and she has shown signs that she knows her name. Yes, that was fast.


Apart from that, might I remind anyone out there who has a problem about how I take care of my kitten, I have NINE LIVING CATS at my house. If I have taken care of them since they were young and they are still healthy and loving cats now, you DO NOT have to condemn the way I take care of my TENTH kitten. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING LAH. If you think you can take care of her better, let me see you have the guts to ask me to give her to you.


I mean, I've been training my cats just the right way though it may seem as if i don't give a shit. Truth is, YOU do not know how to take care of a cat. If it shits in your room or something, what are you gonna do? TALK to the cat and tell them its wrong?! They're cats, they need to KNOW that its wrong in a way that they can understand. Not by TALKING to them as if you're some animal whispere. JEEZ. Think about it. You'll sound as if you have an even lower IQ than the cat. THERE, I SAID IT. I just can't stand you people who have so many problems against me, yet act as if you agree with me. No offence to anyone, this is just a message to anyone who has a problem with it. Not that I already know of someone who does. I love my friends.<3








xxoo,
AdyyIskandar.♥♥

we are weapons.;)